I had a very enlightening coversation with a friend last night. We were watching the episode of Martin where he gave Gina a BS proposal just to keep her from moving to New York. In the first scene he said "We don't have to get married, we can go on like this for 2, 3, 9 more years". Gina of course had a fit, as most women would. Here sparked the conversation. He says that women after a certain time in a relationship feel entitled to a proposal (i.e. we've been together for 4 years, put up or shut up)and they need it to validate them. He was kind of right but, I thought that was kind of overstating the obvious. I think that if you're up front with the person you're dating there won't be any surprises. If I'm in a relationship with someone they know from the begining that in the future I want to get married and have other children. I'm not looking for the proposal to validate me, but I am looking for perminent commitment with someone who shares my values and loves me and son and wants to be with us the forever. He also made a good point that some women feel that having children and being married validate them. Just like some men feel that having a son to carry on their name validates them as a man. Another good point.
So then he asks the million dollar question "why do you want to get married"? Good question! My answer was, I want my relationship with my partner to be honored by God, I want to spiritually and emotionally pledge to be with this person for the rest of my life. It's not about a ring and a big ceremony, it's about having our relationship honored by God. As my friend told me 1Corinthians 7:9 says "But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
Then we moved on to, if you're going to honor God with marriage, you should do it with your whole life. Now that's another topic.
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3 comments:
It's another topic indeed and one I am dealing with and persuing myself.
Marriage is such a strange thing. I didn't want to get married. I was happy being single and staying single forever...then I met that man. And I wanted to be with HIM for ever. I didn't want to be married, i didn't want a piece of paper, I wanted to come home every day to him, to know I could trust in him to come home to me. It wasn't marriage I wanted, I wanted to spend my life with that particular man. And now that I knwo what marriage entails...i doubt I would get married again if this one doesn't last. Marriage is very different than I thought, or how it seems, or how people make it seem. It's like parenthood, lol, you just can't describe it.
Andrea, you hit the nail right on the head.
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